Those who have tied the knot or will soon be getting married surely understand the nerves felt before the big day. While these pre-wedding anxieties might include both excitement and unease, they are much more intense than the usual nervousness we feel before starting something new. A wedding signifies the beginning of a new life, and it justifies some nerves. But, the question of how much is considered normal is one we often ponder upon. So, before allowing your pre-wedding anxieties to overpower you, discover the reasons behind them and how to alleviate them.
Is it normal to experience pre-wedding anxieties?
“Is he the right one for me?”, “Am I making the right choice?”, “Why do I feel this way?” – these are typical questions a bride may contemplate before the wedding day. Amidst the stressful preparations, pre-wedding anxieties or second thoughts are natural, as per Dr Anu Goel, a counseling psychologist, hypnotherapist, and past life regression therapist, who shares with Health Shots.
“It is perfectly usual to have wedding jitters. It’s anxiety getting the better of you. For a woman, she is uprooting her life, home, everything… It’s a complete life change for her, so it’s perfectly normal to feel these anxieties. For a man, he is welcoming an almost stranger into his home, who needs to adjust to his family. Even if he lives alone, adjusting to a new person is never simple,” Dr Goel explains.
According to a study by UCLA, published in the Journal of Family Psychology, 38 percent of women and 47 percent of men admitted to being uncertain and hesitant about getting married. That’s how ‘normal’ it is!
Say goodbye to pre-wedding anxieties with these quick and simple tips
What is the meaning of having cold feet?
While pre-wedding anxieties or second thoughts are common, some individuals even feel the urge to leave everything and flee. Dr Goel mentions that she has had many patients who experienced this feeling. The pressures of married life can be overwhelming for everyone. “Everyone gets nervous. Some people outwardly express it through laughter, tears, it varies from person to person, but everyone feels nervous. There are people who get cold feet and want to escape from the marriage too. When someone gets cold feet, it doesn’t mean they don’t love the person they are about to marry. It simply means they are too frightened to take the first step. They don’t know if they will succeed or fail. Especially for women, leaving their home and moving to a completely different environment. However, most of us do our best to cope and stay resilient,” she clarifies.
How to overcome pre-wedding anxieties?
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While feeling nervous is common, none of us want to turn into bridezillas on our wedding day and are looking for ways to bid adieu to our stress and worries. Dr Goel offers us some practical methods to address pre-wedding anxieties.
It’s a good idea to seek premarital counseling to receive guidance before marriage, so that you have a better understanding of what to expect and what you are getting into. This will help alleviate further fears. Once you comprehend what you are stepping into, you can work on the marriage.
Embrace your feelings
Denying your feelings is not the solution, and turning a blind eye to them may exacerbate the situation. The way to overcome them is by acknowledging what you are feeling. Once you acknowledge your feelings, you can address them.
Thoroughly plan things
If everything is well-planned and you are aware of the advantages and disadvantages of the situation you are getting into, it becomes easier to accept it.
Engaging in conversations
Engage in conversations
Talking to friends and family, expressing your emotions will surely provide relief. Sharing what you are feeling with your loved ones and comparing notes is a definite way to understand the situation. Everyone has experienced similar feelings and can relate to it.
Do not micromanage
Instead of trying to micromanage the wedding, take a step back. Delegate the organization part to someone else. Aim to relax and unwind. Indulge in spa treatments, practice breathing exercises, and engage in general exercise. Try to savor the wedding.
Avoid getting involved in politics
Stay clear of wedding politics. The more involved you get, the more anxious you will become. Attempt to distance yourself from the negativity, as all weddings have some form of negativity. Surround yourself with happiness.
Maintain a positive outlook
Focus on the positive aspects of what you are feeling. Express emotions positively. Yoga also helps in breathing in positivity and exhaling negativity. Strive to remain calm.