Photo by iStock
If your teenager no longer refuses to snuggle up to you and accept your countless kisses, there are other ways to adjust the displays of affection.
If you’re raising teenage children , you’ll agree with me that there are times when you feel like aliens have come, taken the once small, sweet child who ran into your arms every day and showered you with kisses, and left in his place another human, a teenage stranger who … you don’t know for sure how to manage.
The result; It often seems like you’re doing everything wrong: the way you talk, the things you prepare for dinner, the clothes you suggest she wear, even the way you show your love!
Hugging my 13-year-old daughter, for example, seems strange lately, because she can no longer fit between my arms. I guess I’m struggling to get into her arms, and at the same time she doesn’t want a lot of fuss. So I end up chasing her ( something I see other moms do on social media ), begging her, tripping her, headlocking her, forcefully giving her kisses on the head, while she pushes me in vain… So I am looking for other ways to approach her and alternatives to express my love .
Child psychologist Melanie McNally , who specializes in teenagers, says that “ parents often feel that they have to do something big to show their love for their – seemingly unacceptable – teenage children . The reality, however, is that it is the small moments that have real meaning for them .’ She gives various examples, from which I singled out those that I have seen succeed for sure.
Your teenager knows you love them when…
- You put your cell phone down when he comes towards you. He may come to tell you something trivial, a story from school or something more important, e.g. about how well he did in a test. Whatever it is that he wants to tell you, with this gesture you show that you are interested in him and that his presence near you is important.
- You show interest in what he says and he likes it. It’s not just his presence that he needs to know is important to you, but also what he has to say to you. Listening attentively while maintaining eye contact, commenting successfully and non-judgmentally, and remembering the details let your child know how much you care.
- You are “trained” in what he tells you and he likes. There is no better time for your teenager than sitting next to him on the couch while he watches his favorite series and asking questions about the plot. And you can’t imagine how crazy he’ll be if you order him a t-shirt or a mug from his favorite series! Such a gift, which shows real care, is more important than the most expensive pair of shoes!
…and when you tell him/her things like:
- “Your hair is perfect today!” or “You really like what you chose to wear today!”
- ” Thank you so much for helping your sister/brother with her homework yesterday, I really appreciate it.”
- “Do you two want to do something this weekend?”
- “I heard from tutorial that you tear up at pageants, how about we celebrate at your favorite restaurant tonight?”
- “Remember when you told me you wanted that sweatshirt/concert ticket/swimsuit? I haven’t forgotten! If we save a little by the end of the month, we’ll be able to get it.”
- “I’m really proud of you.”
- “I love you. I admire you. I am always with you . And I’ll be here for you no matter what.”
